Sep 21, 2009

Now Hiring...Personal Assistant

Yep I need a personal assistant.  And I have just the plan for getting one.  First I am going to bribe someone in the lottery commission (I am just guessing that is what they call it), and I will go buy a ticket with said numbers that my friend on the inside is going to make sure come up.  Maybe I should make sure my bribe-e is female they don't require anymore payment than a portion of my winnings.  Of course this all sounds like a lot of work, which is exactly why I need an assistant, so it will likely never happen.

I know I am not the only person in the world pulling out what is left of my hair (damn hormones) over not being able to get it all done.  But seriously, don't I have enough on my plate?  My list of things that should have, but didn't get done this weekend...
  1. Return library books, which I just realized one is missing (likely in my sons room...shudder)
  2. Return RedBox movies (crap...the kids are going to think they are getting McDonalds again)
  3. Mow the lawn
  4. Finish laundry (really does anyone ever finish this?)
  5. Fix the toilet - the little flapper thingy is broken and it runs unless you shut off the water
  6. Start my diet - ha who can diet when you are never home to eat
  7. Grocery shopping - I have no food to make meals with, and we are on our last small roll of TP - yesterday for lunch I threw all of what was left of frozen junk foods on a tray and threw it in the oven.  It consisted of french fries, corndogs, chicken nuggets, and pizza rolls - like I said "what diet?"
Now you may be thinking none of these things got done because I was home sitting on my fat ass watching the boob tube and zoning out.  Oh how I wish.  Clint was supposed to be back from Laredo Friday night, but nooooo.  The customer insisted he stay another night to monitor their electronic systems and make sure nothing failed before signing off on his repairs.  Assholes.  So I took the kiddos to micky-dees to play on the big whatcha-ma-callit before renting movies to keep them occupied so I could get stuff done.  I cleaned up after our dogs, started laundry, and picked up the living room.  I finally made it to bed exhausted with my 3 year old using my decorative bed pillows as a pallet on the floor next to me.  It was really cute (but I am sincerly hoping it does not become a habit).

Saturday called for getting all 3 of us through the shower (of course the kids favorite place to be when I am taking a shower is in the bathroom.  I fixing to install a deadbolt on that door - that is after the other bathroom remodel is done and they are allowed to use it.  With all the showering going on the laundry came to a halt as the 2 share hot water.  I had to go to the mall to have a necklace repaired - which they don't do...they just replace it because it has a lifetime warranty.  Problem is, they don't carry that necklace anymore either.  Grrrr.  Then, when Clint made it into town we took the kids to see "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs".  It was cute, by Christian wasn't really into it.  After the movie we split off.  Clint took the living room "Expedition" to the car wash (just in time for it to pour down today) and I went to find picture frames for pictures we had taken of Leaky at a petti party.  The photographer is seriously talented.  If you are in the Houston area go check her out  Homeshade Photography.  As soon as we got home is was time for Clint and I to get ready to go out for a friends B-day party.  We were responsible for picking up the cake (hamburger and french fry cake - seriously).  We ate fajitas at the house before the crew headed out for an evening of dancing.  The intention was to be ready to go around 11.  Yeah right.  Clint got to play designated driver (I bitch, but it really was needed and I would rather give up my beauty sleep than one of my friends) so we got home around 3.

Sunday morning was a bitch.  I have this pesky little internal alarm clock that wakes me no later than 7 most mornings.  That couldn't be the case for this day.  I woke at around 6 but forced myself to stay in bed and eventually dozed a little.  My bliss in falling  back asleep was short lived my my husbands literal prodding at 7:30.  Now I was really awake and definately not going back to sleep, but he could - ass!  We eventually made our way to chuch and then parted ways once again.  Clint to buy sheetrock for the aforementioned bathroom and me to meet the bio mom at my house.  I have now seen her twice in a months time.  This is only the 7th time I have seen her in 9 years.  Before that it had been 14 years without any contact.  Awkward is the only thing I can think of to describe how being left alone with her feels.  I needed a buffer.  I barely managed to keep my composure when she told my daughter (almost 7) "You're just like your mom at the same age."  It took a strong prayer on my part not to yell back "How the mother trucker bleepin' would you know?"  Needless to say it was a long afternoon.  Then we went to group and had a good some good discussions about community and relationships.  I feel comfortable around them, but I still don't feel like I'm able to share my some of my issues.  Back to the house to watch one 30 minute TV show which was DVRed several days before and get the kids in bed by 9:30.  I don't have any idea how we are going to keep up with any of our favorite shows now that the new seasons are starting.

So, I really need a personal assistant (even if she will just sit with the bio mom and pretend to be me for an afternoon).  At least then I would have time to blog and keep my faithful multitude of readers (okay 3) entertained with my antics for a few minutes a day.  Of course if I had one, I would probably find 50 million other things that just had to get done TODAY!


Jenn said...

Good heavens! I am exhausted just READING all of that. I can't imagine actually having to DO it all. Yikes. I'm lucky if I even manage to shower, do the dishes and get ONE load of laundry done (I NEVER finish it all, haha) in a day.

Aunt Becky said...

Can you find me a personal assistant too? Maybe we can timeshare one.