Sep 10, 2009

Sex Ed Part Deux

The same blog I referenced yesterday had a second entry in which she has discussions with friends over how "the talk" went.  The first thing she did was go into a justification of her daughter, I would assume to answer several of the negative comments from the previous post.  I guess that is a common issue that we have is the need to justify ourselves to others.  I know that I do it on a regular basis.

The blog goes on the the topic of discussion and how someone brought up having the masterbation talk.  Yikes!  But it didn't stop there.  The ultimate question posed was "Would you buy your daughter a vibrator?"  My eyes could have popped out of my head.  But a day after reading it, these are my thoughts:

  • I will never, ever buy my child a dildo, vibrator, or anyother such thing.  If she gets to a point in her life where she wants one, she can buy it on her own.  I have been to a few Passion Parties in the past.  At one of these parties (it was a pre-bachelorette party) the hostess (and bride's sister) had invited her mom and aunt to attend - and they did.  I don't have very much of a relationship with my mother, so this wouldn't be a factor for me, but I can't say for sure if I would want to attend one of these with my own daughter some day if she were to ask.
  • I think it is important to keep the conversation going, rather than have it be sitting down for one awkward hour and then it is done.  Probably around 10 (I will have to get a feel of what she is ready for) we will get more into what kind of changes her body is getting ready to go through and what that means.  The progressing to what is sex, what happens when you have it (You better not have it cause daddy will break someones neck), and how not to get into situations where you are not in control.
  • I will work my way into the masterbation talk with my children (I am hoping my dear hubs will  handle this with our son and not just hand him some magazines).  I would like to have this discussion before puberty.  Disclaimer...the rest of this bullet point could really be considered TMI so proceed with caution.  About the age of 12, right around the age of the appearance of Aunt Flo, is when I first had the thought to touch myself...you know "down there".  Of course being the curious kid I was, I did.  I can remeber feeling so guilty about it.  I was NOT supposed to "that".  At least that's what I thought.  I didn't know other people did it or that it was completely normal to do so.  Sex wasn't discussed in my house until my parents thought one of us girls were having it.
  • I think a vibrator could do more damage than good.  In the case of a virginal teen whose hymen is still in tact, it could cause pain and bleeding.  The hymen will also be discussed with both of my children, because with my first experience at 16 and my hymen tore, I had no idea what all the bleeding was from.  I certianly wasn't on my period, and was too embarassed to ask anyone.  My poor boyfriend (Asshole that he was) probably had to throw away his underwear to save from getting the 3rd degree from his own mother when she did the laundry.
I could probably go on for quite some time on the subject, and I know I will have to prepare a lot of notes over the next several years so I don't leave something out when we do start having our talks.  Besides look at this girl (whose shirt actually says "I got an A+ in attitude").  She started rebelling as soon as she could talk.  I have no doubt being open and honest with her is the only way to keep her somewhat on my side.

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