I have been absent from the blogsphere for a little more than a week primarily due to being to busy to sit down and write even a short post. When I wasn't busy I was exhausted. Between our bathroom remodel, a child with the flu, and a shit load of new responsibilities at work I have been a mess. The main reason I have time today is that we are taking the 3 hour ride to San Antonio to attend my brother in law's deployment ceremony. Please excuse my typing errors today as this is all being done by Blackberry.
Another reason for my lack of blogging (as if everything else wasn't enough) and one I have trouble admitting to myself is that people I know are reading my blog. I know that sounds really dumb. The whole point in having a public blog rather than private is for people to read it. The problem is that I am one of those people who crave approval so much that I won't say what's on my mind for fear of being judged by it. But here on my blog I can let it all out. I can get everything off my chest and all of you wonderful readers are supportive (or you just don't comment if you aren't). I found out a few weeks ago that Clint was reading my blog. At first it felt really cool that my hubs was taking time out vof his day to read my ramblings. To him it gives him insight into what is going on in my head that I just won't come out and say. Then it started to make me feel self aware (I couldn't figure out how to spell contious?). What if I wrote something that he didn't want the world to know. Or something self-depricating that I didn't want to give him as ammunition to make fun of me with.
But I have come to the conclusion that the people I know read what I write becausw they love me and genuinely want know what I have to say, even when I don't have the balls to say it in words. So in conclusion I am going to keep blogging for me, the way I want to and block from my head in the process that so-and-so is going to read this and like me less. Because this is who I am and this place is my daily therapy (even though some of you might argue that I actually need a professional).
Leaving food on the plate
2 days ago