Nov 8, 2010

The One That Wasn't Meant To Be - Cara

For those of you just joining in, I am telling the story of how my husband and I came to be.  If you missed the beginning, go back and read Love at First Dance?

Now, our story wouldn't be complete without the stories of the ones that came before.  You see, Clint and I were both supposed to marry other people at one point in history and both played a role in our relationship.  Today, I will tell you about Bryan and I have persuaded Clint to share his story as well.

I had this terrible habit when I was a teen.  You see, I continuously broke one of the biggest dating rules.  DON'T DATE PEOPLE YOU WORK WITH.  Then again, I was in high school, participated in extra curricular activities and worked about 32 hours a week at HEB (major chain grocery store in Texas).  The window for meeting guys outside of school and work was barely a crack.

Bryan and I had our first date towards the end of my senior year of high school.  I was 18 and he was 20.  He had asked me out a year before, but my parents were not about to allow me to date anyone older than me, so I had turned him down.  That rule changed (or was overlooked) when my parents started having trouble in their marriage and I started dating who ever I wanted while their attention was otherwise occupied.

Two weeks after our first date, my prom date called me on the Monday before prom (I was going with a friend since I didn't have a boyfriend) and informed me he did not feel comfortable taking me.  You see, the plan had been for a group of us to all go together and he had a "thing" for one of my friends and her boyfriend was coming home from the Navy to take her.  I did the only thing I could think of.  I called Bryan and asked if he wanted to take me.  For some reason he said yes with only 5 days notice to get a tux, but hey...I had a prom date and the day was saved.  We were pretty much a couple from that point forward.

There were several break-ups along the road which he attributed to my stubbornness and making up my mind on things before talking it over.  For me it was more about his desire to keep his life separate from me while exercising control over me.  I am not about to say I was perfect and failures we faced were completely his fault, I had a lot of issues.  Many stemming from examples of my parents' relationships which were anything but stable. 

It was not uncommon for him to ask out of the blue if I had cheated on him.  Eventually, it can be said that I did.  Weather it was kissing a guy after a party, having too much to drink and making out with my roommates friend, or running back to an ex, it all occurred during break ups (or breaks if he would not get out of my damn car until I agreed to it).  My biggest fault would be failure to disclose my activities during our time apart when we would get back together.  For some reason in my mind, dysfunctional was better than alone.

The relationship started to wear on me and I spent a lot of time looking like this:

(If you are done lecturing me now, please get out of my truck!)

In fact I think he took that picture of me when I was already pissed off at him.  We spent a lot of time fighting/breaking up just like this.

The final straw for me came Christmas / New Years Eve 2000.  Bryan and I had been unofficially engaged (committed to be married with a promise ring - that was to later be replaced by a nicer one) for nearly 2 years. I went home sick from work with a wicked migraine, vomited from light sickness and pulled the covers over my head for the next 6 hours. That evening I was feeling a little better (still nauseated and physically drained) so he came to see me at my apartment to exchange our Christmas gifts since he would be leaving the following morning to go hunting for a week with his dad. He was pretty insistent on getting it on because he would be gone for a whole week, which I gave into, but the big kicker was that he wouldn't kiss me or even face me since I had thrown up because it may have been the start of the flu or "something".  He just couldn't risk being sick in the deer stand.  Ass!

I was left spending Christmas Eve evaluating what I was doing with a guy who would use me like that, especially when he thought I was sick. He should have been taking care of me, instead of taking advantage of me. I had the whole week to stay nice and angry.  When he got home on New Year's Eve we were supposed to go to a friends party together, but I had found out my cousin was having a party as well and wanted to put in an appearance.  One of my ex boyfriends was also going to be at my cousins party.  It all ended with an ultimatum.  "Is the other party so important to you you are willing to throw this away?"  It didn't take me long to answer.

After he got done throwing a tantrum (flushing my ring down the toilet, raiding my closet and taking everything he had bought me that he could find) I left him standing in the living room of my apartment (my roommate was home) and went to my cousins party.  That was the night I met Clint (again).


shortmama said...

Phew glad you got away from that guy!

Amy said...

I am SO in to this story!!! Dammit Clint, write your post about the girl;)

And for the record...I loathe Brian. Jerk!